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Sticky: The funny side of life
7 years ago  ::  16 Oct 10 08:00 PM #1
Sean -888 Mgr
Posts: 3,247
Date Joined: Jun 24, 2010
Status: Handling it!
Rank: Royal Flush
Hey Guys,

I have been tasked with finding funny (clean) jokes to publish in the 888poker Insider Magazine -one of my best tasks ever as I have read some good ones today.

If you wish for any of your jokes to be considered for publishing in the magazine, then please post it to this thread. If and when you joke is chosen I will PM you to let you know when the next magazine will have your joke in it.

They need to be story like jokes.. (Ex: Guy walks in a bar...)

If you have any questions please ask.

Thanks,
Sean
888poker community tournament passwords are here:
http://my.888poker.com/passwords
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7 years ago  ::  16 Oct 10 08:29 PM #2
caus3way(C.O.D)
Posts: 3,456
Date Joined: Sep 7, 2008
Rank: Royal Flush
a small man is sitting at the bar

when all of a sudden a thug smacks him in the face and says

that's KUNG FU from JAPAN

a bit later the thug smacks him again and says

thats's KARATE from CHINA

the little guy gets up and leaves the bar.

a short time later he comes back and smacks

the thug knocking him out cold

and says to the barman when that git wakes up

tell him that was a SHOVEL from B&QLaughingLaughingLaughingLaughing
1
Bring on the dancin' girls and put the Champagne on ice
Im goin' in To sin city I'm gonna win
In sin city..............www.d0nkeypark.com or iamafish.org
                   FEEL
                 THE PAIN
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7 years ago  ::  16 Oct 10 10:58 PM #3
jeanieuk
Posts: 6,602
Date Joined: Aug 3, 2009
Status: Hope Spring is round the corner, fed up with cold weather
Rank: Royal Flush
     


  Guy walks into a bar.........OUCH!  that really hurt!


Jeanie  Smile

couldnt resist it
1
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7 years ago  ::  17 Oct 10 04:43 PM #4
iKiLLeDpHIl (888Rocker)
Posts: 2,385
Date Joined: Apr 23, 2008
Rank: Royal Flush

A friend of mine once bought one of those Poker Bot thingy me Jigs.

He bought lots of Poker Books from all the tops Pro players and taught it how to play like a real star!

The Only Trouble was, it started boasting about how unbeatable it was and short circuited everytime it got a bad beat!

PhilKiller

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7 years ago  ::  18 Oct 10 01:08 PM #5
Malc
Posts: 7,944
Date Joined: Mar 6, 2008
Status: doing nothing
Rank: Royal Flush

An old nun


who was living in a convent next to a construction site


noticed the coarse language of the workers


and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.


She decided she would take her lunch;


sit with the workers; and talk with them.


 She put her sandwich in a brown bag and


walked over to the spot where the men were eating.


 Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "And do you men know Jesus Christ?"


  They shook their heads and looked at each other. very confused. 


One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there knows Jesus Christ?"


 One of the steelworkers yelled down, "Why?"


 The worker yelled back,


 "'Cause his wife's here with his lunch."

3
http://youtu.be/kAG39jKi0lI
(.)(.)
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7 years ago  ::  18 Oct 10 01:24 PM #6
Malc
Posts: 7,944
Date Joined: Mar 6, 2008
Status: doing nothing
Rank: Royal Flush

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint
the seat on their commode. Finally, he got around to doing it while
Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another
matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower Before getting in the
shower, she sat on the commode. As she tried to stand up, she
realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the
commode seat.

About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally,
In desperation, Charlie undid the commode seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a
sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the Hospital Emergency
Room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to
free her (Try to get a mental picture of this).

Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well,
Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before. "

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never
saw one MOUNTED and FRAMED before.

1
http://youtu.be/kAG39jKi0lI
(.)(.)
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7 years ago  ::  19 Oct 10 05:37 PM #7
BOROMOSS(888 has been)
Posts: 1,546
Date Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Rank: Royal Flush
guy goes onto 888 live chat and is told he will have an email response within 2 hours...............
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7 years ago  ::  19 Oct 10 06:30 PM #8
shinyone
Posts: 2,684
Date Joined: Dec 14, 2006
Rank: Royal Flush

19 Oct 10 11:37 AM , BOROMOSS(888 has been) wrote:

guy goes onto 888 live chat and is told he will have an email response within 2 hours...............




Now that is bloody hilarious

WHY ARE 888 unable to sort out their server issuses.
or are there other gremlins at work?
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7 years ago  ::  19 Oct 10 06:44 PM #9
iKiLLeDpHIl (888Rocker)
Posts: 2,385
Date Joined: Apr 23, 2008
Rank: Royal Flush

19 Oct 10 11:37 AM , BOROMOSS(888 has been) wrote:

guy goes onto 888 live chat and is told he will have an email response within 2 hours...............




Lol Yeah that is funny who needs ethnic groups,  minorities funny shaped fruit or fart jokes when 888 are aroud lol

PhilKiller

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7 years ago  ::  20 Oct 10 01:37 PM #10
lambone-(888Mod)
Posts: 11,373
Date Joined: Sep 21, 2006
Rank: Royal Flush
Q: What's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a poker player?
A: A large cheese pizza can feed a family of 4, a poker player can't.

Q: What is the difference between a poker player and a dog.
A: In about ten years the dog quits whinning.
 
I've got my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting tomorrow. I rang them today to check the time.

It's f******g ten to one. Couldn't resist putting a pony on.


Off to Vegas

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'
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